A Nation Divided

I get miffed watching politicians teamed with nightly news literally tearing our nation apart. The issues we think are causing the division are not at the root of what will end horribly bad. It has to be for every individual to take an honest look, a deeper look, at what drives this division. That means stop listening to who says what that you agree so much with, and listen to the other side without judgment. I know that is hard to do. And chances are extremely good you will feel the same as you do now.

I believe people today are easily led by their traditional trust in their party. One side insists they are the working man’s party, but you cannot prove it by looking at their history, certainly not the direction they are going. The other party can easily say they are for all people, but their methodology of proving their point is obscure to say the least. Lacking empathy in their tact-less speech in the past did that party harm winning converts to their cause. Today, both parties try to out smart-mouth the other. It really sounds like school kids fighting, “AM NOT! ARE TOO!” And the media stirs the pot of anger daily.

FYI, the media is losing the trust of the people, as many projected after the last election. They did, at first, following the Presidential election, admit they really needed to change their ways to re-gain trust. But they could not resist being able to report what their party, (yes there is bias), was attempting to do, or undo, the election results. The other side couldn’t stay out of the fight having to defend the winner. (My memory of the President’s party not standing behind him at first is vivid. That changed.

Finally, we had someone stood up to all of the politicians, that had given in to other governments, out of fear, or out losing payoffs under the table as many believe. Undoing the Iran non-deal, adding more sanctions for non-compliance to nations tyrannically led, holding money back from Palestinians for their violent outbursts against Israel, and last but not least, the Great Wall of Texico. The President has some blame, tweeting, fanning the flame. But his non presidential sounding speeches are fine by me. I’m tired of people trying to sound like they think people want them to sound, if that makes sense.

Keeping legitimate folks out is not the reason we are told. But it does, and the reasons don’t matter to those opposed to the wall. It should matter to the working man. All I have been hearing from the working man is “they are taking our jobs!” But they still vote for the party that is all for illegals entering the country and receiving benefits they cannot get without paying for. Strange. I am certainly not against immigration, but it has to follow the rule of law. If we are going to not have the rule of law, then it is time for the gun control advocates to hold their piece… literally.

I want Americans to stop fighting like Christian sects over small issues that don’t matter. I want Americans to stop listening to nightly news and daytime panels who are totally not qualified to campaign for any party, or be personal psychologists for families. I know, I can want for a lot of things but at the top of my “want” list is that we are united as a people and we learn to make our choices on who and what we believe by our own research and guided by values. We can stop telling our military thank you for your service if we are bent on letting politicians and media undo what so many fought and died for.

Letting Go

A woman’s son had taken her to the point of bankruptcy with his constant drug use, legal troubles from arrests, and not working. When he was jailed she made sure he had money on his book for food and necessities. She ignored what she was told about enabling her son’s bad behavior. “I love my son, I just can’t let him go hungry, be homeless, what kind of a parent would I be?”

She finally had to surrender and told her son he was not welcome back home until he had a job and was clean and sober. She made this hard decision knowing she may never see her son again, he may die alone, freeze to death, or even starve! But she would lose her home if he stayed and continued doing nothing other than sponging off of her. She feared finding him dead in their home.

For five years she never heard from Him. She was heart-broken, fearing the worst but continued to pray to God in hope for his safety and recovery.

Then one day her son walked in the door, clean and sober, had his own place to live and a job! He had also found Christ and was in the ministry!

She had finally let go and let God. There is hope when we make the decision to trust Him. Luther said, “I’ve held many things in my hands and lost them all. But those things I placed in God’s hands I still have.”

I hope this little true story helps parents who don’t know how to let go. I certainly know it is hard. Pray, give the care of your child into His hands, or as one man said, “Pray and let God worry.”

Resolutions for the New Year

In the past I made, like so many do, annual resolutions. They would begin to come together right after the Thanksgiving Day feeding frenzy. My aims were always based on becoming someone other than… well, me. It was my annual self loathing and desires for others to see my value as a person, you know, be admired. Resolutions, as I reflect back, should have been named, “planned failures for the upcoming year.” I failed annually, which gave me the loser complex, helping me fail at other ambitions as well.

Today I have a clearer view as to why the many failures. No resolve, no plans on the how to, no book on Resolutions for Dummies. The understanding came to me slowly, but it did come as I came into recovery from alcoholism. “The best I could be is out of me,” I learned in AA meetings. Those past me-gotistical aims I once had each year were about me getting what I wanted. Today helping others get what they need and want is more satisfying, far above personal gain.

I still want to improve annually, but now to improve my serve, putting God, then others ahead of yours truly. I don’t want that to sound like I’m such a swell person, (that false humility garbage). Humiliation from my past taught me real humility which I must continue to work on. That opened my eyes to discover serving is far more valuable than being unique and being admired.

I do want to become better in 2019. I want to be a better husband, father, friend, worker, helper to those still suffering with addictions. That takes me to look for the know-how to hit those noble goals. Honesty, loyalty, kindness, courage, diligence, are virtues to strive for, under-girding me to accomplish those resolutions. But more importantly I must Trust God, continue to help others, and keep my side of the street clean. Prayer daily, even day-long prayer is key to the success and discovery of the above virtues.

God is faithful as you and I aim above all else to please Him. He then gives us a purpose and passion to improve ourselves and experience wonder, which is far greater than personal desires.

I’ll finish this post with thoughts we could seriously consider as resolutions for 2019:
Choose patriotism over political parties.
Choose friendship over isolation.
Choose to know for yourself about everything, not what someone told you.
Choose carefully who you admire, admire values above things.
Choose to be a part of something worthwhile, then you won’t fall apart.

Blessings to all for 2019… far beyond happiness that fades!

Dear Younger Me

I wanted to share this short poem written by a man I met recently. He is one of the fortunate ones, still alive and by God’s grace recovering in a rehab facility. I hope you take a moment and read his heartfelt words to his younger self and his promise to Jesus, his Savior, to finish his life well in Christ’s service.

Dear younger me
I did not see,
What my whole life
Was meant to be.

All the heartache
All the pain,
The guilt and hurt
And all the shame.

The things I did were all in vain,
All wasted now yet I remain.
So I can see my purpose now,
To You Lord Jesus I will bow.

Now I see what I’m to do;
Just follow You, only You.
You will lead me down a path,
Help me to forget my past.

I will tell them of Your love,
And of forgiveness from above.
Thank You Lord for saving me,
What You have done to make me free.

Your true love and sacrifice
Has given me a better life.

Kevin Long

What If?

I think about this question every year, so I thought it good to ask you, the reader to think about and answer if you wish. Give it thought, serious thought. See if you know how much our world has been affected by Advent.

What if Christ never came into the world; what would the holiday season be like?

My thoughts:
There would be any holiday season for one. That means any Santa, Christmas carols, family gatherings, school “winter celebrations,” no shopping or gift giving. There would be no paid days off, no football Christmas Day, no big meal other than the normal daily dinner.

If Jesus had not come to redeem mankind, wipe the slate of our sins clean with the shedding of his blood, there would also be no Easter either. There would be no ACLU fighting to remove religious artifacts from stores, or secular judges ruling that the displaying of the manger scene is unconstitutional, citing the separation of church and state, (which, by the way, does not appear in the constitution).

The words, “do unto others”…would have never been heard, as well as, “For God so loved the world”…and “judge not, lest you be judged.”

What else? How about anytime since the church of Jesus began, the flood of giving aid to victims of disasters? How would education be affected? Slavery? The arts? Literature? Science? Invention? Even Christians have no idea how Christ’s birth affected these.

Think about that as we all enjoy the blessings and benefits of His atoning grace this season. And just so you know…there is more, much, much more.

Remember Not to Forget

This year Memorial Day seems more real to me than in times past. Perhaps the reason is personal research regarding twentieth century events, and watching the American Heroes Channel whenever docs on war are on the tube. In every conflict throughout the twentieth century, more lives were lost that in all known wars on record.

I honor every person who has served our country and lost their lives, and those who served at all as well. God bless their memory, may their sacrifice never be forgotten.

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.
Winston Churchill

I have this foreboding sense of days to come and potential looming wars to come. Anger and hatred are newsworthy, networks or media from various sources bombard us with possibilities of conflict, their escalation daily. Within our nation there are conflicts just shy of turning deadly violent, but not portrayed as such. We really learned zero from history though warned not to do so.I believe pride has told us we are too smart to repeat historical mistakes, which I believe is laughable.

Keep the memory of the fallen alive by refusing to allow politicians and leaders at any level to stop giving away guaranteed rights our men and women gave their life for. Freedoms are in jeopardy, mainly, religious freedoms, freedom to bear arms, not to forget freedom of speech, which seems only to apply to the press anymore. The rest of us must be politically correct not offend anyone.

We seem to drop all of our differences and prejudices in times of national threats, i. e. 9/11/2001. We come together across multicultural lines as Americans, grieving lost American lives, you know, our family. I would love to see that togetherness thrive in our country, but I don’t foresee that ever happening.

Politicians, ethnic leaders, and media outlets are determined to keep unity at bay, increase their personal power, fanning the flame of discord without impunity. I believe their speech doesn’t match their actions, they want us to forget those who lost their lives for freedoms they freely give away, pointing out opposition’s faults to conceal their own.

Globally speaking, there are many conflicts alive and well. This is not a surprise however. Foretold a couple thousand years ago:
Jesus, questioned by his disciples about the times of the end said, “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation shal rise against nation, kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places”…. Matt.24:6-7

World-wide conflicts have always been. Yet from the twentieth century until now, never has so many soldiers and civilians died from such. Through in ethnic, political, and religious purging by Mao, Stalin, the killing fields of southern Asia, etc. The numbers are incredible. don’t forget to remember, not just on memorial day, but when you pray, when you vote.

Now, how do you say this…Happy memorial day? Have a nice holiday? How about REMEMBER.

The Key to Solid Recovery

Don’t think I come up with everything I write about regarding recovery from drinking and drug use  Much of what I post comes from what I hear from successful people in recovery meetings. I also ask God’s help to express thoughts to the reader. The purpose of this post is the latter statement, God’s help.. Time after time I have heard the recovering admit that praying to God was key to their recovery. I totally agree.

The issues of addiction to drug and alcohol are regarded as a spiritual malady. Don’t doubt that for a second. even if you do not believe in God, or agnostic. I have witnessed several who had no spiritual belief remain clean and sober as they followed THE program. Yet those who rely on God through prayer have much stronger recovery, my personal observation. If our addictions are indeed a spiritual malady, the remedy must come from the spiritual plane. We could not use physical to fix the spiritual no more than putting a set of wings on one’s back would cause one to soar among the clouds, defying the physical law of gravity.

Simply put, physical laws cannot alter the dimension of the spirit. However, spiritual law can, and has, altered the physical and mental realms. This isn’t arguable in this reality we dwell in, and only realized by having faith in such. With that in mind, the practice of daily prayer to God for help to remain clean and sober is the key to solid recovery, and much more. As individuals follow what has worked for millions in AA, praying for God’s intervention to help just today a clean and sober day, their faith in His reality grows. They find God loving and ready to help them though at first, praying seems foolish, a waste of time. With days passing, their faith grows to ask for His help for other issues, until prayer develops into dialog, a relationship.

I have been asked about what God’s will is by several over the years. Why I was asked in most cases was I had been the individuals sponsor, not from having been in seminary.  Sometimes I answer that with a question….”do you know what God’s will isn’t?”

The answer to that is that they do not use drugs or alcohol. That’s a given. Also, I believe God’s will is obvious to the one asking…He wants you free of addiction, He wants you changed entirely, body, soul, and spirit.  That normally means, everything about the individual needs to change. Recovery from addiction programs are programs of “self reduction to others minded.” You may enter a rock star, but aspire to be a servant. (God’s will leads to real life in spite of how that may sound to your ears).

In truth, most that want to know God’s will having underlying reasons. In most cases, the hope of side-stepping consequences, or wanting to have someone agree with what they think. Others really want to know what I feel God wants them to do. That may cover many things, relationships, how to work their recovery out when opposed by family or friends, or for a desire to know God. For me, I find answers in scripture first of all. One particular place I look is in the “poetry sections,” Psalms, Ecclesiastes, mainly the book of Proverbs. These books are crammed with workable, godly advice like an atlas insert for my personal locality.

To be honest, I still hit walls often. though I look for spiritual answers through prayer and Bible readings, that doesn’t make me a spiritual know-it-all. Example being that I was absolutely sure a my last relationship was God’s will. For me, God had to be my priority in life in. Second, I knew whatever I wanted must come second to my mate’s needs and desires. Right priorities make perfect relationships…right? Not even close. The other individual has a say too. They may agree verbally, but hold to different priorities. If so, that does not mean the relationship is wrong or doomed to fail. But it may require more effort by both.

Though we agreed at the onset, and marital bliss seemed unending, vigilance was required daily. Even though I prayed before, even had solid counsel throughout, it ended badly. God, how did I miss Your will? That way of thinking can devastate one’s recovery if help is not immediately sought. My expectations, God’s will, her will, and enemy attacks, etc., all converged to where I could not see God’s will at all.

In retrospect, I remembered I had a check inwardly, but disregarded it thinking, “get behind me devil!” (Only comical now). God wanted to keep me from trouble, but my desire for a relationship held sway over waiting for His perfection. Ouch! I don’t know what hurt worse, the broken relationship, or being wrong at this stage of spiritual recovery, or…at my age.

In conclusion, pray for God’s help as a daily priority. This is the priority for solid recovery. Do meetings, get a sponsor that isn’t so cool but has a real spiritual side, do what you hear the successful in recovery have done. If you miss God’s will for whatever reason, He isn’t mad, ask Him again and talk to your sponsor about it.

Ask For Help

When I first entered into recovery for alcoholism, I found it nearly impossible to ask for help for any reason. I would ask God to help me without thinking twice. But not people. What I did not know was how God used people to help me in response. I still struggle to ask others for help for things in general, even when they offer to help. This is a real character defect I must deal with.

My understanding changed as so many in AA reached out to help. I knew then that I needed what they had to offer. Even greater was the understanding of how my prayers were not wasted words. God really cared, really heard my petition, really loved me. Today when I pray to Him, I know He will answer.

I read accounts in the Bible regarding prayer. Two in the Old Testament stand out in my mind. The passage in 2 Chronicles 20, Jehoshaphat, king of Judah, gathered the nation to ask God’s help as they were besieged by a massive army. In Isaiah 36-37, Hezekiah, king of Judah sometime later, had a similar experience. Read these awe-inspiring stories. Both give direction to praying in unity, in desperation, in faith that God can and will rescue if we only ask.

Some may say, that was then, or think, what a nice fairy tale. So perhaps an event in recent history may be more convincing. Have you ever heard about the story behind the story of Dunkirk, during WWII ? The British army, numbering nearly one-quarter of a million, along with french allies, were backed to the sea, with eight hundred thousand German soldiers closing in for the kill. Hitler was bent on annihilating the Brits.

Winston Churchill earlier, had called for a national day of prayer. I heard a woman, then a young girl account how the people responded, though unaware at the time how dire the army’s situation was.

“I remember my mother and I walking to town to the church, to pray, asking God’s help for our nation, the military, and our leaders for guidance. When we neared the church, I saw people kneeling on the sidewalk outside of the church, and along the sidewalks, for all of the churches were packed with praying people.”

No one knows why, and this is still being discussed by historians, Hitler suddenly decided to halt his charging army, and give the soldiers a little R and R…highly uncharacteristic. Simultaneously, a British leader had a flashing thought…let’s gather every boat available, no matter how small, to rush across the English Channel and rescue the soldiers.
Please don’t insult God and say, “what a coincidence!” The two events were a result of a people asking God’s help in unity, like Jehoshaphat and Hezekiah did, as well as accounts throughout scripture.

We all have an army of problems and mountains of impossibilities facing us in life. We do not have to fight alone, often not at all when we call to God for help. We have to ask. James 1 says, ‘you have not because you ask not’…or ask selfishly, (amiss). Jesus said ask and you shall receive, or say nothing and receive it.

So that’s it. Drinking was prolonged from my resistance to ask for help. Life and freedom came from humility enough to ask God and others. Great victories are realized when we have the courage to humbly ask God to fix our situations. Start asking, watch for results, be open to receive help from others.

One other thing. The times seem extremely dark, our nation is totally divided and double minded concerning right and wrong, politics, education, et al…A mountain of troubles are in view. We need to pray for our nation as never before. Please do so everyday.

Sure Recovery

Every meeting I attend has changed of late. It is not the structure, the topics, nor the methods that have changed. It is me. So many that attended have lost their lives to either returning to their misery, or have passed away from sickness of some sort. Each meeting gives me pause to wonder who may not make the next meeting. That is not in my control. No matter how I feel, my sure recovery requires me to suit up, show up, give what I have been given. This is my reality from attendance to meetings. There I learned I cannot fix anyone. I can only trust God, serve others, and keep my side of the street clean.

My struggle to meetings does not matter as long as I continue on, in disregard of my personal feelings and misgivings. Sure, recovery for me is based on the understanding I have of self-forgetfulness. How I feel, what I want, or what I think is not as important as what recovery meetings have etched in my thoughts….“meeting makers make it.” Without that understanding, in time, I would be back doing what landed me there in the first place. Thank God for His grace to understand my personal realities.

Many of you that read this are either in recovery, or are tearing through every site offering info on clean and sober living for a loved one’s sake. For the one looking for yourself, you are on your way to restored sanity and recovery. You want help and are looking for a way out. This is where recovery begins. Those looking for another, I can only tell you that “recovery is for those who want it, not for all who need it.” Not trying to bust your balloon, but they should be the one looking, not you. Don’t stop, by any means! As you go through  page after page, you will learn how not to help them and enable their lifestyle.

Sure recovery is possible. I have known several, whose lives were like an elevator mechanic, up and down, sober, then drunk again. They eventually “came to believe” they could make it, and did! It is possible, they discovered, when their determination and desperation finally developed faith to believe their need to accept their plight, others help, and finally follow direction. By listening to others story and suggestions, the most important truth of recovery…God’s reality, His grace to help, mercy to forgive, and direction to change those hungry to be free.

“I know the thoughts I think about you, says The Lord, thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you hope, and a future.” Jer. 29:11

“…casting all your care on Him, (God), for He cares for you.” 1 Pet.5:7

I have been through horrific problems lately. I know these problems would have crippled me without God’s indescribable grace that rests on  my life through faith in Christ. These problems could add several paragraphs to this page. I will not honor them by giving them that space. That is not sure recovery at all.

Sure recovery is hope, turned into faith, turned into trust that when these problems pass, I will be able to look back and see God’s hand, pulling strings, and manipulating situations to bring me through. Victory is sure for me if I fight on, and credit Him, humbly acknowledging His will is done. Keep fighting, follow directions, get into meetings until they get into you.
God’s peace to all.

Leading the Drunk to Water

More than likely, you have heard the saying, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” No matter how many times I have heard the adage, and have used it, I sometimes think that I can make it happen. Not the saying above, rather the message of leading others to a life, clean and sober, of following Christ, and serving others selflessly, I try to convince with conviction.

What makes me think I somehow am the measure of what is the right? I am not. What I do know has merit from experience, study, and spiritual practice. What I have experienced isn’t what brings others into a life of sober living, nor convinces an unbeliever to see Jesus as the Savior of the world. It is not my job to argue with others in AA or NA meetings that they have a distorted view of God, when they say something completely unholy regarding Him the way I personally know Him to be. I do not have a degree that makes me a word cop. I also must remember, who’s talking, where they are in recovery, and where they came from in life.

It happened again in a small meeting a couple of nights ago. A man I felt was highly educated, and certainly has a dynamic message of his coming into recovery, with the help of, and by the grace of God, made some false statements regarding the Bible. I didn’t oppose him in the meeting, but tried to “kindly” correct him afterwards. No argument ensued, but neither did I convince him of his error, and the ripple effect on others hearing him tumbling into total disbelief because of his blunder. The reason for no argument…God, I’m sure. To argue with him could kill any future opportunities with the thirsty, wanting to find the water hole.

“The main reason people in recovery do not grasp the message, is they don’t reach for it.”  Author

AA’s Big Book warns members not to play the evangelist to those still actively drinking. Doing so may hinder any chance of helping those you are targeting to share your new life with. I believe that goes for attempts to exhort others in the program to drink deeper, raise their standards of behavior to a greater height around all of those watching them in their recovery.

In other words, maturing in their sobriety, become a real example. That’s change, what we hate the most. Fear of losing friends in recovery is at risk to the ones bold enough to accept and change. Sadly, most get just enough water to make them not want to drink, (booze or use dope). That is, the water being God, and the grace He bestows that leads them to recovery. There is more.

What should I do or say to get the horse to keep drinking? Talk and pray. God didn’t ask me to be His personal sheriff in recovery. If I trust Him, I say what He gives me to say in meetings, or to sponsor-ees, and nothing more. For those spreading a distorted view of God, I am to do two, no, three things: say nothing, love them, and pray God will enlighten them, bringing them into a deeper understanding of the incomprehensible power He has to change lives those no one imagined could ever change.

The warning to me, and to you if you are viewed as a leader in recovery, perplexed by what you hear in meetings, If we truly trust God to use what we give, do not forget His purpose in us is not to judge, but to serve. We only correct, or redirect if asked for help. If I try to play the know-it-all, and believe me, I know little, (that isn’t false humility, I learn as I go, how little I know), I will ruin any chance of influencing others to follow me to the streams of Living Water, the main Message of man’s existence, and living above addictions with God’s help.